We welcome to our family

Jubilee Camilla Richter

She was born on December 11, 2010 at 1 PM. She weighed 8 lb 2 oz.

Praise be to God!

Baby is 39 weeks

The contractions are strong and hopefully, effective. They feel like the real thing but just not very consistent or close together. I believe I'm in early labor and that birth should be just around the corner. I lost my mucus plug this morning so another big sign that it shouldn't be much longer.
Chris is really unlike most men, I think, how he personally takes responsibility over our births. He took me out walking tonight even though I wasn't very enthusiastic about the prospect of going out in the cold, knowing that contractions may make walking less than comfortable. He wants this baby to come and out we went. God gave us a wonderful walk and it wasn't that cold at all. It was like being on a date. We hadn't had much time to ourselves this past week so it was very nice to hold hands and talk with each other.

I am still amazed that God has given me a husband that is not afraid to take on his wife's birth. He doesn't want that responsibility to fall on anyone else. Neither of us would be comfortable with someone helping us during the birth of our baby. It's an intimate and special time that we don't feel the need to share with others.

We've had to share our births before in a managed setting and it really pales in comparison to what we've since experienced in the privacy of our home. We birth our way, unhindered, under no time constraints, allowing the birth to unfold and be accomplished naturally.

Baby is 38 weeks

No matter that I've had 7 children.  Each pregnancy still is as exciting and unpredictable as ever.  Last Friday I thought I was in labor.  Chris had just started a two week night shift and I was in bed thinking this was it!  And then, he came home!  I hadn't even called him.  He inflated the pool and I gathered what I wanted for the birth.  Then God answered Chris' unspoken prayer, I think.  He didn't want the baby to be born with us both tired.  My contractions didn't seem to be as consistent so we went to bed.  And that was that.  I guess a warm up was in order so I can really get super excited for the real thing.

God's timing is better than my timing.

We have been so blessed by our little church family.  Last Sunday, they prayed for us and then showered us with love and dessert and money to buy a double jogging stroller.  The ladies told me that they decided to give us money instead of an actual stroller because they thought I could find a good deal.  Well, God is the one who provides.  I saw a double jogging stroller on Craigslist this morning and I got it this afternoon for a very good price!  A church blessed us in such a wonderful way.  Just like how our church is.  For the whole family.

I'm still learning to rest in the Lord and wait on Him.  This pregnancy is no exception.  God never wastes anything.  Everything to draw us closer to Himself.

Baby is 35 weeks

Baby is still active and moving all around so I doubt delivery is imminent.  I think 2-4 more weeks and we'll get to meet this new little one.

I was pondering about Romans 8:28.  Does it really mean all things as in everything that happens in a believer's life?  Does it mean that even though childbirth is very hard because of the Fall, God will use even the pain of contractions for good?  And we don't have to opt out on that pain but if we relied on God to truly deliver us, we can have a miraculous birth?  I believe so.  I believe God is good, even after pronouncing judgment on mankind, and He gives us grace to endure what's hard and seemingly beyond what we can endure.

I am greatly comforted by God's promises that I don't have to accomplish anything on my own strength.  It is God who will shoulder the burden if I don't fret and allow fear to overcome my task at hand.    I was thinking over what fears I may be harboring with this birth.  I don't think I really have much of a list.  I would like a shorter birth than Noble's birth but I am not really fearful of another long labor.  Chris and I were talking about whether to go to the Urgent Care 5 minutes away or to the Base Hospital if I needed to transfer.  That would be terribly sad, but I don't think I am really fearful of that happening.  I don't believe that I am immune from problems arising in labor.  Believing childbirth to be a normal non-medical event doesn't mean that I also believe that nothing will ever go wrong.  If I wanted to really become fearful, I could imagine all sorts of things that could go wrong and dwell on those possibilities.  Instead I will pray for peace and a joyful anticipation of this baby's birth.  God is still in control and all is well with me.

Baby is 33 weeks

This baby is still super active so I guess there's still plenty of room to grow.  I feel that I am impossibly huge already but I know my belly's just going to get bigger.  I wasn't really sure how baby is lying until I came across this very handy website on belly mapping.  I think my baby is positioned either Left Occiput Anterior or Left Occiput Transverse.  That just means that the baby is lying on my left side, head down.  These are good positions for baby to be in for labor so I'm praying that baby will stay put. 

Why homeschooling is so good

I went grocery shopping this morning.  I didn't have to take any of the littles, as all the children were home and could take care of everything.  It began raining quite hard on my way home and was still raining when I got home.  When I pulled into the driveway, my nine year old daughter was waiting for me with an umbrella to escort me into the house.  The boys brought in the groceries and put them away while I had lunch.

The children do school at home.  But they also live here at home during the day, serving and doing things that need to be done.  They aren't where they can't be available to their siblings or to us.  They have the freedom to take care of more important things than school work because they are home.  God designed families to serve each other and I'm so grateful that my children are learning to do that and not in an artificial environment where they are learning to serve themselves.  God's command for parents to teach their children all day long sure benefits the entire family.  Thank you, Lord, for showing us what our responsibilities are as parents and for blessing us with our children.

Baby is 32 weeks

Amazing.  Just amazing how fast this pregnancy is going.  I skipped quite a few weeks posting because a monumental event happened last month.  My husband came home after being gone for 4 months!

I'm up to 107 pounds.  And I feel it, especially after sitting for awhile and then getting up.  Although this pregnancy has been pretty normal, I have been plagued by itchy red bumps on my belly.  There's actually a name for this.  It's called pruritic urticarial papules and plaques of pregnancy (PUPPP) or polymorphic eruption of pregnancy.  I've tried using coconut oil and it seems to help a little, but it's still pretty itchy.  I'd think that after 7 pregnancies, my skin would've gotten used to being stretched, but apparently not.  Other symptoms I'm experiencing are vulvar varicosities and hemorrhoids.  Getting older and being pregnant does have side effects, I guess, for me, but despite these annoyances, it's still pretty exciting knowing that my baby is growing and will be born soon.  This is such an active baby that there's hardly a time when I don't feel either the baby moving or my uterus contracting.

I haven't been walking as faithfully but I did go out yesterday and it felt good.  I took a bath last night and I am very grateful there's an inflatable pool waiting in the garage for the birth.  The bath tub was just way too shallow.  What's so nice about the inflatable pool is that the bottom is also inflated so it's not hard like the bathtub.  I would recommend getting an inflatable pool just for laboring in because it makes relaxation so much easier to come by even if the idea of birthing the baby isn't that appealing.  For me, I love that the baby is supported by water when s(he) is birthed and no one has to catch the baby. 

I don't know what made me so sure that I wanted a water birth with our first homebirth.  I didn't read any books specifically on water birthing, although a few books did mention using water as a relaxation tool.  My husband says he loves it, too.  He likes how everything is all in one place and how unmessy it is.  I've heard some homebirthers say they didn't realize how messy childbirth was but that hasn't been our experience at all.  We've never had to clean floors or sheets because of the birth.  All Chris has to do is to let the water out of the tub and we're all done.  Doesn't get easier than that!

Family Picture

We had a great time getting our family picture taken a few days ago.  Really.  Not just because we had such a good coupon, total paid for our 6 sheets was $9.  And not just because we were given 9 ice cream coupons for the Dairy Queen next door to the photo studio.  That helped, but the main reason the photo session turned out so well was because the photographer was fast and the children didn't have time to get tired of posing.  I just wanted a family portrait so all she took were family shots.  She didn't try to get different shots of the boys only, or the girls, or individuals.  And then when we were selecting which pose to go with, there wasn't even a mention to buy more.  I'm so glad we got to take this picture before the new baby is born.

Virtual relationships?

I have questions about facebook that I think will keep me from signing up again.  I took the plunge when a friend asked me about my son's facebook which I didn't know he had and when I realized that some friends switched to doing facebook rather than writing emails or calling.  I quickly found that there were friends from all over who wanted to be friends again.  How gratifying!  How mundane I found it after a few days of reading about people's scores of games they play daily or their little snippets of life, but not really knowing what is really going on.  I found it to be frustrating, too, wondering about the "secret" that someone posted but didn't reveal what the secret was.  Of course, none of it is my business but that titillating tidbit created curiosity.   I don't think the way I want to find out about a couple's marriage failing is through seeing that their marital status has been changed to complicated.  I'm not sure just how free one is to express oneself on a social network where one may be afraid that some certain person should not know about something.  That sounds complicated, doesn't it?  I often hear of people saying that they don't want it known on facebook because of ...  So, does that mean facebook really doesn't satisfy our intense need for real relationships and that we cannot be free to express to all of our friends just exactly what we want to say?  Well, that makes sense since sometimes we can only tell one friend where we won't want to reveal to all of our acquaintances every thought we have, but facebook doesn't differentiate between casual and deep friendships, does it?

This article gives a good assessment of facebook.

I would like some feedback of how facebook works for you, please.  I'm asking in all sincerity.  Most of my friends are on there and I almost think I should be, too.  You know, so that I'm connecting.  A friend voiced a concern that I thought inevitable.  She said she wasn't comfortable with some female friends of her husband's on facebook.  I think it's easier to deal with those face to face relationships with the opposite sex.  We normally just don't do it, right?  Without our spouses.  But on facebook, it's normal and so much easier to just add someone, anyone, as a friend.  It could be that the success of facebook shows us how lacking we are to our friends.  Maybe if we all reached out more on a real face to face level, there wouldn't be such a need for daily virtual affirmation?

Maybe I'm just worried that my children will one day communicate with us and each other on facebook.  And that's it.  And life goes on but we've connected.

Baby is 25 weeks

I'm up to 102 pounds and my belly definitely shows it!  My babies always sit low so breathing is never an issue but I do feel pressure in my pelvic area and much more so as I get nearer to birth.

While I am not comfortable with having anyone other than my immediate family at my births, I am considering having this birth videotaped by one of our older children.  I think it may be a blessing to this child when s(he) becomes an adult or maybe it may help one of our children's spouses to understand more about homebirths if they don't know much about it.  I think I will see how I feel about it when labor begins...maybe if the videotaping could be so unobtrusive as to not make me feel inhibited, it may happen.  Maybe my husband might not be comfortable with the idea of our intimate birth captured on video.  Sometimes my husband has reservations in areas I don't and vice versa.

At the grocery store today, an acquaintance asked to watch the birth of our baby.  I explained about how private and intimate it is to us but that there was the possibility of a video.  If a video of our birth could help others while not intruding into our privacy, then I think I'm up for it. 

Here are some internet links to homebirth information:

 http://www.gentlebirth.org/format/myths.html

http://www.gentlebirth.org/ronnie/homesafe.html

http://www.ministryofmidwifery.com/images/pdfs/HartlandFlyer2010.pdf
(What a wonderful opportunity this seminar would be for those interested in becoming a midwife or a doula!)

Childbirth books

These are the books that I have on childbirth that are especially noteworthy:

A Book for Midwives
  A manual for traditional birth attendants and community midwives
by Susan Klein

The Birth Partner: A Complete Guide to Childbirth for Dads, Doulas, and All Other Birth Companions
by Penny Simkin

The American Way of Birth
by Jessica Mitford

Homebirth
by Sheila Kitzinger

The Complete Book of Pregnancy and Childbirth
by Sheila Kitzinger

Immaculate Deception II
by Suzanne Arms

A Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth
by Henci Goer

Obstetric Myths Versus Research Realities
by Henci Goer

Birth as An American Rite of Passage
by Robbie E. Davis-Floyd

Hearts and Hands: A Midwife's Guide to Pregnancy and Birth
by Elizabeth Davis

Special Delivery
by Rahima Baldwin

The Naturally Healthy Pregnancy
by Shonda Parker

The Five Standards for Safe Childbearing
by David Stewart

Emergency Childbirth
by Gregory White
(I printed my copy on my printer from an internet link but I can't seem to find a good link anymore.)

Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way
by Susan McCutcheon-Rosegg


Active Birth: The New Approach to Giving Birth Naturally
by Janet Balaskas


Ina May's Guide to Childbirth
by Ina May


I have found some of the above books on paperbackswap.com for free!  No kidding!  Homebirth, The American Way of Birth, The Complete Book of Pregnancy and Childbirth and others.  I really didn't expect to find such treasures on paperbackswap but they're out there!


Please share what books you've found helpful with childbirth!

Baby is 24 weeks

I'm starting to feel uncomfortable sleeping on my back.  I toss and turn between sleeping on each side and get up in the morning feeling totally unrested.  :(  I haven't been walking very much the last few days so that could have contributed to my inability to rest well, too.  I'm now a firm believer that daily exercise should not be underestimated in the benefits one derives from it. 

This is such a small thing to go through to get to my reward that I'm definitely not complaining.

Here is an article that shows how hospitals are still manipulating women during childbirth.  I think most people don't even realize that they and their baby become wards of the hospital when they check in.  Statism has barged into hospitals and no one even minds. 

Part of a hospital birth is the medicalization of a normal life event.  I once read an article I wished I had kept.  The author stated that the high cost of medical insurance could be cut if certain non-life threatening events were not automatically covered like prenatal care and childbirth.  His reasoning was that unlike diseases and illnesses, pregnancy is neither and one can and should save up for the fees associated with it.  Probably most people would disagree with him but I can totally see his point.  Auto insurance doesn't pay for routine maintenance either.

Why do people not question the validity of all the tests and procedures they are subjected to by doctors?  I applaud my son for forgoing IV sedation during his wisdom teeth extractions.  The dentist gave him no other option but Max read the risks involved and decided he would rather go the safer route without additional drugs.  I guess the answer to my question may lie in our trust of medical professionals.  We expect that they would act in our best interests.  It's easier to submit to their authority rather than to question it. 

I've gone through four pregnancies and births without any kind of testing and have found that my trust in God has increased and my worries have decreased.  (I do use dipsticks for confirming pregnancies.)  I've missed out on hearing the baby's heartbeat, but really I didn't need even that to give me assurance that my baby is indeed there in my womb.  I am not convinced that the doppler is really all that safe for babies anyway.  :)
How many know that the doppler utilizes ultrasound technology?  Who cares?  Well, I do.  And my advice is to ask your midwife to use a fetoscope instead of the doppler.  There's no reason why you can't also listen with the fetoscope.  Ask the midwife to get a longer cord.  :)  After all, you are paying for her services, right?

This is a great article about making wise decisions about technology in birth.

I'll just quote this one paragraph from the article.

"Is the increasing use of technology saving the lives of more pregnant and birthing women? In the United States the scientific data show no decrease during the past 10 years in the number of women who die around the time of birth (maternal mortality). In fact, recent data suggest a frightening increase in the number of women dying during pregnancy and birth in the United States. So it may be that the increase in the use of birth technologies is not only not saving more women's lives but it is also killing more women. This possibility has a reasonable scientific explanation: cesarean section and epidural anesthesia have both been used more and more in this country and we know that both cesarean section and epidural block can result in death."

Baby is 23 weeks

There's no hiding the fact that I'm clearly with child now.  It's good to be asked about how many children I have and to be able to express thankfulness to God and how we look forward to welcoming more blessings of children into our family.  We're rather an oddity wherever we go.  The children tell me that they notice people staring.  It's good to be different this way and to be able to tell people that the reason for our family size is because we take God at His Word that children are a reward, blessings, and a natural and sweet consequence of a marriage that seeks to give glory to God.

I went to a seminar given by a Christian counselor called Caring for the Emotionally Damaged Heart.  The speaker said that babies may experience emotional stress in utero!  This would only make sense since we know that each little baby is a unique person that God has "knitted" together and knew from the foundation of the world.  We know this little person has an eternal soul.  S(he) can experience physical pain, so why not emotional pain?  I wonder how many babies are emotionally stressed with their birthing experiences and how that affects their well being in the first days of their lives.  Another huge reason to have a gentle birth at home.

Baby is 22 weeks

I now weigh triple digits. Baby is definitely growing. This baby is more active than I remember my other babies. I wonder if that's any indication of a boy. Even Noah is rooting for a girl. I know when the baby is born and we find out what sex the baby is, we will be so happy to have that boy or girl. I think if I found out right now that we're going to have a boy, I may feel a little tiny bit disappointed just because I'm thinking we may have our third girl soon. I'd much rather just wait until birth and have no room whatsoever to have differing emotions about the baby's gender to deal with for the next 18 weeks. When I was expecting Noah and Noble, I thought both would be girls. And at their births, those thoughts were totally extinguished like they were never there. I'm so grateful that Chris doesn't want to find out ahead of time either.

I think the baby deserves some privacy. God gave him his special place to grow. All I need to do is to respect that this baby is his/her own person and is not ready to be outside of me. Should my curiosity preempt my baby's right to be left alone?

Since my husband asked...

When Chris left, my belly was non-protruding. 

I feel particularly huge today.  Pictures never really show how big one feels.  I feel much bigger than this picture shows.  Then I found a picture of myself prior to Noah's birth and I don't feel quite so huge now.  It's always so amazing to me that a body can stretch so much and not burst.  God is an incredible creator.

What to do with one's loved one at death?

I read this post at online.worldmag.com and thought it was thought provoking.

I have always been surprised at the popularity of cremation and wondered about it.  Understandably, the fact that it costs much less than a funeral home assisted burial must be something that makes it attractive.  Money seems to be the big motivator on the decisions we make.  Practically speaking, it makes sense.  Spiritually?  What does money have to do with anything?

I guess most people really don't know all their options.  Just as I did not know I could have a homebirth many years ago, I'm sure there are many people who do not know they do not need a business to take care of their dead.  I have a book called Caring for the Dead: Your Final Act of Love.  Isn't that a wonderful title?  "In early America, home funerals were the practice everywhere, and each community had a group of women who came in to help with the "laying out of the dead." "  The author, Lisa Carlson, goes on to write, "Just as they [baby-boomers] took back control of the birthing experience, many will choose to handle death more actively, more distinctively-with or without a funeral director."  I have witnessed the taking control of the birthing experience by some in my generation, but I really haven't seen much of that in regards to caring for one's loved ones.  I'd like to think that we automatically turn to the mortuaries and crematories instead of burying our own dead because this is what society has trained us to do.  I hope it's not because the dead body is repulsive to us and we don't want to think about actually having to handle it.

What is it that mortuaries do that they are such an integral part of death?  "The funeral industry, emerging between 1880 and 1920, successfully convinced the public (through the efforts of the newly formed National Funeral Directors Association) that professional services were necessary for proper care of the dead-with compatible laws and regulations quickly following.  Embalming was the centerpiece of that effort.  Families could place a body on ice to slow its deterioration, but only an experienced "professional" could embalm.  In fact, embalming remains the only specific skill required in the undertaking business."  So, it seems that we hire morticians to embalm and make our dead look like they're not dead.  "Most people don't know that embalming is almost never required."  And if that's the case, then why do it?  So as to delay the funeral until the weekend where more people will attend?  "Most people don't know that the normal funeral-type embalming "holds" a body for only a few days."  Once a person is dead, is there any reason to keep their body life-like?  I don't think so.  I remember seeing my dead father's face in the casket at his funeral and thinking that the make-up on him is rather gruesome and that his hair was parted the wrong way.  I would have preferred a closed casket.  But the mortuary went through all that trouble to make him look good.  What a waste that would've been!  Maybe that is the kind of thinking that takes place when people make arrangements for funerals.  And maybe it's to avoid all these funeral traditions that cremation has become so popular.  Caring for the Dead isn't a Christian book and it references cremation.  I think a Christian would want to go to the Bible for understanding how a dead body should be taken care of.  As far as I know, burning of a loved one's dead is not a Christian practice.  And even if Christians now practice it, I believe we should follow biblical precedence rather than cultural norms.

Not too long ago I read about a cemetery where I'd like to be buried in if we still didn't own our own land and family cemetery.  This is the kind of cemetery where costs would be kept to a minimum and where one would have more control of the burial.  I like what I read on their website: "Burial is not a waste of land, it protects and restores the land."  But I'm praying that God would give us our own family resting place one day.

I pray for my family's health regularly and desire that God would give us long lives, especially for our children.  But I also want to be prepared for our deaths.  Surely if my husband and I are predetermined in our decisions regarding burial decisions prior to any of our family member's death, how much less stressful the arrangements would be when the time does come.  

Death does not have the victory over the children of God.  We are confidant of this and we rejoice in knowing that the life after, our eternal destination, is where we want to be.  I pray that God would grant us peace and acceptance when that time comes.  And that we'll be able to truly love and care for each other, in life and in death.

P.S.  Another book that is insightful about burials and in particular, the funeral industry,  is The American Way of Death written by Jessica Mitford.  She also wrote the book I referenced to in my last post.  I'm not sure where my copy is, otherwise I would've quoted from that book as well.

Baby is 21 weeks

                                                                                 

I no longer think I am really big for being this pregnant. I know I am! But I am also more than halfway so I should be getting big. I'm still intrigued by the disparity in sizes of bellies in pregnant women.  Just as babies come in different sizes and shapes, it figures that pregnant bellies should too.    :)

 I wish I had studied the history of childbirth before having children.  I would have been better able to make a decision regarding my birthing choices.  So many take our status quo for granted, as I once did.  It never occurred to me that I didn't have to go to the hospital to have my first baby. 

For an interesting read on childbirth history, I recommend Jessica Mitford's The American Way of Birth.  

She wrote in her book, "In the year 1900, less than five per cent of all American births took place in hospitals; by 1939, 50 per cent of all women and 75 per cent of urban women chose hospitals for the purpose; by 1970, the figure had risen to close to 100 per cent."?  Trends catch on fast, don't they?  I wonder how many know that puerperal, or childbed, fever, was an epidemic that was only prevalent in maternity wards of the hospitals during the 18th and 19th centuries.  And it was the single most common cause of maternal death.  And the reason?  Doctors weren't taught yet that they needed to wash their hands prior to vaginal exams and delivering babies.  See, doctors are just like us.  They don't know everything.  Of course, now they know they need to wash their hands, but if medical schools continue teaching that babies measuring such and such must be delivered by C-section, they will go with that too.  Here's an interesting tidbit on C-sections: Today, the single most important risk of puerperal infection is Caesarean section.

After doctors learned to wash their hands, it didn't seem that women fared that much better in hospitals.  Women were treated like crazy criminals when they went to the hospitals to have their babies.  They were strapped on the bed and given injections of morphine and scopalomine, a hallucinogenic, until she couldn't remember what was happening to her.  Again, it would seem to be common sense, even to someone totally devoid of medical training, that causing a healthy woman to react negatively with drugs (hence the necessity of restraining her arms and legs with straps)  is unacceptable.  But that was long ago.  Now in our enlightened age, are there safer ways of administering drugs so that there are no risks involved for both mother and baby? Certainly one is led to believe this and never told otherwise.  18 years ago, I wasn't even aware that I was getting an epidural until told to turn over.  Not coping well with the contractions while laboring on the bed for hours with an external as well as an internal monitor on, we asked to see the doctor who had not shown him/herself yet.  Instead of the doctor coming, I was given an epidural.  Accordingly, "Uterine contractions can become weaker and less frequent. An oxytocin infusion is then necessary to improve labor and produce good strength contractions Mothers having epidurals have longer labors and have a higher incidence of the use of oxytocin than mothers having non-medicated deliveries."  That was 18 years ago and I'm sure hospitals don't just force epidurals on people nowadays and SURELY they tell women the risks of epidurals before administering them.  But just in case they don't, here's the package insert for the epidural medication manufactured by Abbot Laboratories:
Local anesthetics rapidly cross the placenta, and when used for epidural, caudal or pudendal anesthesia, can cause varying degrees of maternal, fetal and neonatal toxicity.... Adverse reactions in the parturient, fetus and neonate involve alternations of the central nervous system, peripheral vascular tone and cardiac function....
Neurologic effects following epidural or caudal anesthesia may include spinal block of varying magnitude (including high or total spinal block); hypotension secondary to spinal block; urinary retention; fecal and urinary incontinence; loss of perineal sensation and sexual function; persistent anesthesia, paresthesia, weakness, paralysis of the lower extremities and loss of sphincter control all of which may have slow, incomplete or no recovery; headache; backache; septic meningitis; meningismus; slowing of labor; increased incidence of forceps delivery; cranial nerve palsies due to traction on nerves from loss of cerebrospinal fluid. 

Here's a theological question to think about.  Does God desire for childbirth to so incapacitate the laboring mother that she should need laboring aides that may harm her?  Someone once said that God gets all the credit while man gets all the blame.  God gave grace.  Grace to have the knowledge of coping with the work of childbirth.  Grace to persevere in childbirth throughout history.  From my own experiences, I had one birth with an epidural and 6 without.  There is no comparison in the quality and satisfaction between the medicated and unmedicated births.  If you had a positive experience with an epidural birth, I would challenge you to see if there would be benefits in forgoing the drug and accepting the grace that comes from the One who loves us and surely wants good for us.  He, alone, can dole out the curses and give what it takes to handle them victoriously and joyously.  


P.S.  I really do hope that it is evident that my intention is not to malign doctors and hospitals.  Doctors come away from medical schools with certain knowledge and they act accordingly.  Doctors save lives.  I pray that they may save mine if there was a medical emergency.  Please note that I didn't write that doctors actually killed mothers when they gave them puerperal infections.  Their lack of knowledge and women's lack of wisdom in going to the hospitals caused those tragedies.  While the hope is that hospitals will offer us safe deliveries, one needs to understand that giving birth in a hospital has a high potential of resulting in surgery.   
 

Baby is 20 weeks!

Halfway! The weeks have been going by pretty fast still, although I know it always seems to slow down in the weeks before baby is born.

I'm having trouble falling asleep and am waking up numerous times during the night. This shouldn't happen until I get so big I'm too uncomfortable to sleep. I'm expecting to sleep better once my beloved comes home. Not too many more weeks now, although every week is one too many.

I've had a few comments on my pregnancy this past week. It's nice that I've gotten to the point where people don't have to wonder if I'm just really thick around the middle. :)

I was asked what advice to give a first time mom who will be delivering in a few weeks. The first thing that came to my mind was to understand the risks of an epidural and to remember that when one feels like one can't cope anymore, it probably means one is in transition and baby will soon be born.

I am very encouraged that homebirths seem to be on the rise. At least in my circle. I would think that in our internet age where information is so easily accessible that women would understand the risks of a hospital birth and that the rising C-section rate would deter women from planning hospital births. A woman's perception of childbirth will probably determine where she will birth. If she has the idea that childbirth is a medical event or a fearsome happening, she will more than likely think that the hospital will "save" her from anything bad happening or tell her how to have the baby.

The main reason we believe birthing a baby at home is safe is because childbirth is not an inherently dangerous medical event. We trust that God has designed the female body to be capable of birthing a baby. While some women may have medical conditions that require medical attention, most women do not need medical assistance in birthing a baby. They may think they need pain assistance, but that's because their fear of pain prohibits them from coping. Pain from childbirth is different from other sources of pain. This kind of pain comes and goes. It is a productive happening that is for good! What the pain suggests to me is that I'm not relaxing enough and I need to loosen my body and mind and not fight what's going on. We are all prone to pain avoidance. There is a drug for every discomfiture that one may experience. But there's no magic in the drugs. It doesn't make it all better. The symptoms may abate, but at what costs? The epidural that was given to me with my first birth when I was 8 centimeters stopped my labor. I remember crying at that point knowing that I'd much rather have the pain back and continuing on with my labor than for my body to quit doing what it was supposed to be doing. Of course, what often happens in the hospital is the cascading effect of more drugs. How lucky I was that they could give me Pitocin to put me back on track! I am being sarcastic in case you don't know that I dislike using the word "luck". I don't believe in luck. How does God's sovereignty and luck fit together? What is one saying about God when one says "Good luck!" Is that like saying, "May God be with you?" I don't think so. If you want to annoy me, tell me how lucky or fortunate I am to have 7 healthy pregnancies and births. And I'll tell you that God gets the glory and not luck. Sorry to have gone on that rabbit trail. It just irks me that Christians don't change their language habits to reflect that it is God who is in control.

Even if one understood all the risks of medical interventions at the hospital, one is still not at the liberty to birth in a natural and unhindered way. Birthing on a delivery table almost guarantees that a woman will tear. Her legs in the stirrups may assist the doctor in doing an unnecessary episiotomy and catch the baby more suitably, but that's purely for the doctor's benefit. If having my baby in an upright position was my only reason for a homebirth, it is reason enough. But of course, there are so many more reasons to not have one's baby in the hospital. Hospitals are where sick people go and there are germs there. Not like the germs in one's home. I would not want to deliberately expose my newborn to a place where disease and death is inevitable. I would not want to be in that environment either, come to think of it. I am not sick. And I don't want to get sick. Another reason childbirth should occur in one's home is because it's a private family matter. Why should male interns, male nurses or male doctors have anything to do with my body when I am not needing medical care? On the other hand, why should female nurses have anything to do with my body during childbirth? Everyone's fingers are different sizes, one person's 10 centimeters may be another's 7? To me, having a baby is as intimate as ... well, being intimate with my husband. Or to put it in the simplest terms, it's not unlike performing a natural function like going to the bathroom. Some may be comfortable having their extended family, church, and friends with them and to them, it's all good when it's in the privacy of their homes. They have control over their homes. It is a place of safety and peace. The hospital, no matter how nice, is a foreign place where one is a patient. Being a patient means that you give over control what happens to you. And to your baby. Being a patient means that this birth belongs to the hospital, not to you.

I am not against hospitals. One just shouldn't put oneself in a risky situation at the onset of a natural, family event. Should I need to transfer to the hospital, I will be grateful that there is medical help for me or for my baby. Because there is a possibility that I may need medical help doesn't alter the fact that childbirth is a normal and inherently safe life event. If I am going to allow fear to be the deciding factor on where to birth, I know the hospital will not alleviate that fear. Doctors are only human. But I am not going to allow fear to motivate me. Knowledge and wisdom have proven to me that home is where birth is safe and easy, compared to the hospital birth I experienced. I don't trust my body or the birthing process to make me feel safe. I trust in God in whom all good things flow.

Baby is 19 weeks

God has delivered me! I haven't had hives in nearly 2 weeks now.

This is a very active baby. I feel baby move all the time. Being a mother is so utterly fascinating.

We've been walking nearly everyday, except when it rains. A couple of days ago, I decided to run the last stretch home and it felt so good. I think running is something everyone should try to do sometime. You can't be that old if you can run. :)

Chris and I have been talking about names and discussing whether to get a bigger birthing pool. There's something about my husband's love for our baby that makes me feel so tender towards him. His interest and involvement in our upcoming birth is all that I need. I don't need a doctor relying on machines to worry me or a midwife letting me know that the baby's getting bigger. While I am still curious about why I feel that I am bigger with this baby than with my other pregnancies, I am not wanting any outside interference. Chris also is very relaxed about most things and has no desire to find out anything about the baby. Once upon the time, before we were blessed with girls, he thought that he'd like to know if we were having a girl. The thought came and went and to our astonishment, we did indeed have a daughter with our first homebirth. I think the surprise and utter joy that came with Hana's birth just confirmed to us that not knowing the details of a gift beforehand was something worth waiting for. With my previous pregnancies, the question that is always asked is if I'm having a boy or girl. I am not so obviously pregnant yet, so I haven't been asked that question yet but I know it is coming. Maybe I should try to be straight forward and not confuse people with the answer I have given in the past, "Yes." Definitely a boy or a girl. And then when they understand that we don't want to find out, inevitably would come the trite, "Well, just as long as it's healthy and normal." Um, no, that will be fine, too. We know that God loves us and works all things for our good so how could we reject anything He brings into our lives? A baby is a baby. Healthy or not, normal or not. A baby is a blessing. Period. Thank you so very much, God, for giving us this blessing. Everyday with this new baby is a blessing. I treasure the days I have with this babe in utero just as much as I am anticipating loving the days after his or her birth. How can a woman in her child-bearing years reject the wonder and miracle of new life? A life created in the image of our Lord and Savior! I don't know. It may have something to do with feminism, which really is just another name for self-ism. Or being deceived by our cultural mantra that there is such a thing as having too many children. There are people I dread knowing about our new baby. They want to shame us into thinking that this little being, HUMAN being, should not exist. If I am ever bold enough, I may just ask, "Which one of our seven should not be here?" How can our 8th child be more of a burden and less of a joy than our first? It really doesn't make sense but I know that this worldview of children as burdens is quite prevalent, even among Christians. I think it's past time that churches denounce birth control and affirm one of the reasons for marriages, to bring forth godly seed. Of the churches we have attended, only the family integrated churches teach about the blessings of a fruitful womb. What a sad indication of how the church is not giving forth the whole counsel of Scripture.

I think of those I know personally who purposefully won't ever experience the sanctifying work and indescribable joys of raising a child and I grieve for them. They have been robbed and they do not even know it.

Baby is 18 weeks!

The baby is finally the size of one of my favorite things to eat. :)

I am getting bigger and bigger. So big, I don't see how I can be due around the same time as 2 friends who do not look anywhere near as big as I am. Hmmm, I am not gaining that much and yet, I feel that my belly is getting enormous. I think this may be what happens when one is on one's 8th pregnancy. At least, this is what is happening to me. I saw a picture of a woman who was pregnant with her 10th baby and at 30 weeks, she looks like what I look like now. I guess I am just getting dumpy in my old age. 39 is definitely not young anymore, yet I don't really feel quite old yet. I have to smile when I remember that I once thought that I'd be old when I turned 30. I was 30 when I had my first homebirth and my first daughter. It was a good year. Now I am almost 40 and I still don't feel too old to be having a child. I think as long as I can bear children, I will not feel too old to have them. It's true that age does affect a pregnancy, but I think being active and healthy goes a long way. Feeling old is really a relative thing. For me, I will know I am old when I no longer want to go outside with my children. I will be old when I want to be alone, a lot. I will be old when I have great grandchildren and I will love it!

We were at a friend's house last night for prayer meeting. After the prayer time, the ladies and I talked about childbirth. It's good for men and women to talk separately sometimes. :) We talked about giving birth at home and about our different pregnancies. Our hostess is a young mother very near her delivery time. She seems so comfortable with the impending birth of her first child. I am very glad to be part of the older women group that can give some experiential advice to a younger woman. I don't remember talking to many women about childbirth before I gave birth for the first time. I don't know why I didn't ask a lot of questions and no one seemed eager to share their childbirth stories with me. I read some books and wasn't too fearful, but I wasn't very confidant either. I know my mother gave birth naturally without drugs but I didn't know how she coped with her labors. I knew my father couldn't be with my mother while she birthed but then she said she didn't want him to be there. It's interesting how fathers were kept away from their wives so that the professionals could handle everything. How can a husband be an advocate for his wife when he's not even part of the process? It's good that hospitals have changed their policies on where a father should be allowed to be when his wife is giving birth to their child. But still in a hospital, there's only so much a father is allowed to do. He is really helpless to do anything for his wife and can only be a bystander. When a woman births at home, her husband is still the head of his domain. He has the capacity to give as much support to his wife as she desires and the authority to do so. He doesn't have to be given permission to cut his baby's umbilical cord. He can be the first to touch the baby if that is the couple's desire. He can be actively involved and not passively wait to be told where he should stand and watch. Some men may not feel comfortable in this environment, but what a man he who can be just as intimately involved with the birth of their baby as with the conception. Husband and wife are one flesh in marriage. We experience that so beautifully in our homebirths. I lean on my husband for emotional support and he trusts my body to do what God designed it to do. I am so grateful that he desires to be with me when I birth and does not neglect me. And I am thankful that he is not a fearful man. He understands childbirth to be a natural process that can be accomplished without medicalization. And very importantly, he trusts me. He trusts that I wouldn't attempt something I am not qualified to do. :) We're a good team. I'm looking forward to another birth with my husband. Wow...we're on a good roll here. This will be the 5th birth that he will have attended. 4 of them at home. So, he's only missed 3 births, that's not too bad.

Exercising together...living together

We were heading for the auto salvage today and it was in the direction of a new park that we've started going to so we decided to load up a couple of bicycles and we all ended up getting some exercise.  The boys rode their bikes on the trails and I took the girls and Noah and walked.  Even though it was quite warm today, it wasn't that hot in the woods.  The trees kept the sun out and we didn't get all hot and sweaty.  The boys did, but that was because we found out that mountain trail riding takes mountain bicycles.

If there are overweight children and parents out there, could it be because they are not spending enough time eating together and having fun together?  I don't understand why there's this philosophy that children should play with their friends while their parents stay indoors.  I know my parents loved me and they took good care of me when I was growing up but what I remember doing the most together as a family was watching Chinese videos.  We didn't do a whole lot of it but other than eating together, that is a memory I have of my family.  School seemed to be the main focal point of my growing up years.

No wonder a homeschool movement needed to be started.  And family integrated churches.  Being together as a family and discipling one's children really shouldn't have to be taught, but our culture has so ingrained each one of us that we need to spend time taking care of ourselves that these movements really became necessary.   My husband and I both agree that going to school didn't prepare us for life whatsoever.  It made us into egotistical, selfish people.  We put ourselves and our friends over our family on a daily basis.  And we didn't even realize how anti-family schools were until we had our children and saw how important it was that they spent time together, living and learning and loving each other.  We are reading an economics book that views the government as something that harms a society more than it does good.  I see schools as in the same category.  Although schools may make it easier for parents to pursue their own careers and hobbies, the institution is anti-biblical and anti-family.  I know many parents do not even have the slightest idea what sending their children off to school does to their child.  They do not know the statist and atheistic views a government school indoctrinates in their children.  They trust that the state would have their child's best interests.  I understand this and so I don't blame my parents for my public schooling years.  I know they didn't know of another way.  They didn't know parents could or should educate their children themselves.  Just like I didn't know that I could birth a baby in the safety of my own home in the beginning.  So this post definitely is not chiding parents who have put their children in schools.  I believe families have to guard against culture invading their homes, especially a godless culture that deems children as burdens that need to be brought up by institutions.  One definition for culture is religion externalized.  We all know how godless our culture is and yet we don't seek to protect our children from the evil influences that emanates from every segment of our culture.  How can this be?  Our love of self and our love of pleasure propels us to seek self over spending time living life together with our precious little ones.  I know I struggle against putting my family's interest over my own often.  I get frustrated if things don't go the way I want it to go.  I desire that the children always get along and do what they're supposed to do.  I don't like to have to correct them all day long and show them what the Bible says about the way we should  act and talk.  But when I do decide that my priority is indeed to mother my children and to teach them of God's ways, I always reap the rewards of knowing that there's nothing better I could be doing. 

We will not have overweight children.  If they even start looking like they need to exercise more, I will know it's also my problem.  I was not exercising enough.  I do care about healthy living and I know my children will benefit if I don't keep it to myself but include them in all that I learn.  How easy it is to tell our children to do as we say and not as we do.  How utterly ineffective for our children to learn to do differently from us if they see us indulging in sins or not exercising godly living. 

I wish children didn't have to become adults before parents realize that spending time with their children is something they actually desire to do.  I hope our children will not grow up thinking that they wished their parents had invested more of their time in them.  Well, I know I can do more than hope.  I can obey the Bible where it tells me to teach my children all day long.  Not just during our schooling hours, but to invest my life into theirs.  I would be very surprised if my children decide not to homeschool or homebirth or eat healthily and naturally when they are on their own.  I will know that teaching really has not taken place in our home and that our children took in  other people's values over ours.  But I'm praying that the time we've spent with our children will not be fruitless.

Another reason for this post is that it's (almost) never too late, too late to be convicted to be in God's will and to do something about it.  I've seen examples of this with our friends.  Our long time friends from Hawaii were convicted that surgically preventing future offspring was not God's way and corrected their mistake with a tubal reversal.  And God blessed with 3 more precious children!  And there is Delta.  She is a grandmother of 4 grandchildren.  Though she had but one child, these four grandchildren are not too much for her.  She takes them canoeing and plays with them at the beach, in the waves, no less.  She made a deliberate move to live in close proximity to her daughter and grandchildren.  I don't know if her daughter realizes what a treasure her mother is, but I know the grandchildren do.  The littlest one, who is only 3, told Delta that she wants to be just like grandma when she grows up.  Now, that is the ultimate compliment a grandchild can give to a grandparent, I would think.  Then there is a young lady I met at a church who told me that she went away to college but was convicted that her home was where she should be serving at until she had her own family and she moved back home and is joyfully contented as a young adult living and serving in her family.

I don't think it's ever too late to disciple one's children.  I hear of mothers who say that they are discontented with their children's school, but will keep them in until the end of the school year.  If something is not good, why not go towards something that is good, right away?  I know of adult children who don't respect their parents and the parents allow that in their home because they believe their children are now grown and they can no longer exert any influence or control in their own home!  I find that deplorable.  The Bible doesn't give us an age where a fool is too old for the rod.  We tell our children that they need to always treat our home as if they are welcomed guests.  They need to be how they would act at any other's home.  Even when they are grown, we will eat together and be considerate of one another.  A family isn't just where people can act however they want to, but where they are always special to each other.  I know I take my family for granted and do not treat even my husband with respectful consideration and I need to continually seek forgiveness.  I do not want my children to grow up and not talk to their siblings for months at a time.  I do not want the children to think that their family existed to serve them until they are self reliant.  No, if we are training our children right, they would think their primary duty is to serve God and to serve their neighbors, with their family being their closest neighbors.  One day, our children will grow up and think about the things our family did.  And they will remember that we did them together as a family.  So, is it important for a mother to stay with her children at home?  How can it not be when children need to be nurtured by the ones who God entrusted with?

I talked about government schools but didn't touch upon Christian schools.  Our first hand experience with a Christian school was that it took away from the family as much as the government schools.  The churches we once attended that had schools drew the mothers away from their homes to serve as teachers in the schools.  And the children became segregated from their siblings and spent the majority of their waking hours with other children, under the authority of other adults.  We recently went to a friend's graduation.  Her mother talked about what happened to their daughter when they put their 2 children in a Christian school after home educating them for many years.  The siblings grew apart and the daughter become rebellious.  The children came home after the year at the Christian school and it's made all the difference.  We've witnessed the change towards godliness in our sweet young friend and we rejoice at God's goodness in directing her parents on where they should entrust their daughter's soul.  It was not even in a "safe" Christian school. 

Ignorance does not excuse.  Not in God's eyes nor in the eyes of our government.  We are not to act unrighteously, but that is hardly an easy task when we are often shaped by our culture.  We do what our friends and neighbors do.  Pretty soon we do even what strangers do.  It takes constant study of Scripture for us to not conform to this world.  What is acceptable to the world should not be acceptable to us if it goes against Scripture.  A movie we all like is Time Changer.  This is a good story for showing what happens to a society when Jesus is taken out of morality.  Society degenerates.  It is easy to imagine people from the turn of the century being shocked at the values people hold today.  They would be shocked that women don't look or act like women.  In fact, they are hardly distinguishable from men.  They would be shocked that children are relegated to day care centers from the time they rise to when the sun goes down.  They would be shocked that Sunday is a day like any other, where people frequent businesses and engage in the same activities as they would during the week.  They would be shocked that children treat their parents with open disrespect.  And the list goes on...  People change with their culture and do not hold to their parents' views, it seems.  Fiddler on the Roof is an interesting story that shows that while tradition is seemingly what keeps a family together, change is inevitable.  (Each one of the daughters goes against the father's wish in marriage.  The father complains but is powerless to convince his daughters that his traditions are what is most important.) This is certainly true for many cultures and many families.  But it doesn't have to be with true Christianity.  If fathers held to a multi-generational vision about sowing God's faithfulness in their families, their children would not remove the ancient landmarks.  If the children have been brought up not just knowing religion, but serving a true living God that permeates in every aspect of their lives, then the children will not be double minded and go where the wind takes them.  If parents invested in their children's lives and hold themselves responsible for what the children should learn and do and who they should spend time with, the children will grow up knowing that their family is worth their time and affection.  Of course, there will always be the prodigal sons, the ones who must experience life the hard way before accepting God's will.  By God's grace, the godly seeds sown in childhood may one day bring forth repentance and salvation.

Parenting is sanctifying work.  I have realized that I must not give of myself here and there but give wholeheartedly and in every way, communicate to my child that time spent in nurturing and discipling is a joy and is something I would rather do than anything else.  I am not very sanctified yet but my prayer is that God will continue to enable me to strive for excellence in my calling as a mother and not be content with my daily habit of being annoyed and dissatisfied with my children.

My children were talking about how I used to sing to each of them when they were little.  I don't know why I stopped when they got older, but I am glad we all sing together now.  I am glad, too, that those early memories are still there.  A family is what God chose to begin humanity.  We need to cherish our families by attending to our children "when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.  Deuteronomy 11:19

More Noahisms

Noah, Noble and I were at the store and we told a lady about using the coupon machine at the front of the store to get a $1 coupon for anything in the store.  I offered for Noah to get the coupon for her and she was happy with that.  She talked to him a bit and complemented him by telling him that he was cute.  Noah didn't skip a beat and answered, My brother's cuter.  :)

If only that kind of humility stays with a child. 

Coming back to the coupon...

We were very happy to get the $1 coupon and told everyone around us.  We were quite surprised that the general response was a lack of interest.  I think the US is really not that bad off economically after all.  I guess if the government can print up as much money as it likes, what's a dollar?

Baby is 17 weeks old

Baby is active as ever.  I am trying to stay active as well.  We've been walking 2-3 miles daily for the past week.  And it really does feel good to be exercising.  It's so easy to neglect to exercise but once I start, I realize that I really do need it.  Noah turned 4 in March and no longer needs to go in the stroller!  He is doing so well.  He will keep up with me if I hold his hand.  What a trooper!  We've discovered that we don't have to go on the busy main road to get to the grocery store, which is only a mile and a half from our house.  We can safely walk on the grassy side away from the road.  I really like that our walking serves more than one purpose.  We bought some cherries and the children thought it was a good reward for walking home fast.

I wish there were some issues where once you've looked into the matter, you can come to a definitive stance and be done with it.  Circumcision is something I am still conflicted about.  Once upon a time when I didn't think it necessary to be fully informed before making a decision, circumcision wasn't a difficult issue.  My husband was circumcised so our son would be circumcised.  How easy was that?  It wasn't that easy, though, taking our first born to the pediatrician's office and handing our baby over and having to sit in the waiting room until our baby was brought out to us.  For our next 2 sons, I insisted on being with them during the circumcision.  Even though it wasn't planned on my part, our first son was circumcised on the 8th day after birth.  I scheduled the next 2 to occur on the 8th day as well.  There are biblical as well as medical reasons for doing a circumcision on the 8th day.  Vitamin K and prothrombin levels are at their peak on the 8th day.  They are responsible for blood coagulation.  
When I became interested in having a homebirth, I read many books on childbirth.  Every single book advocates against circumcision.  Could it be that circumcision was an American cultural trend that goes in and out of style?  Many cultures never circumcised.  It seems that circumcision was done primarily by Jewish people who do not accept the New Testament and Caucasians who are bound by tradition.  What I'd like to know is what God expects of us in terms of circumcision for our sons today.  Does He command it?  It would seem that He does not.  Then why do it?  Practically speaking, there may be risks on both sides of the issue.  I'm not convinced that penile cancer is a threat that can be removed by circumcision.  It's good to know that penile cancer is not common.


Without conclusive data showing circumcision to be necessary, we didn't circumcise our 4th son.  When I was pregnant with Noble, Chris and I discussed circumcision again.  In the end because Chris personally preferred circumcision, we made the decision to circumcise once again.  We were not very happy with Noble's circumcision.  We choose to go with a Jewish doctor recommended by many of our friends.  It was a routine office procedure.  We had to wait for quite some time and when we objected to the vitamin K shot, we were told the doctor would not do the circumcision.  We felt pressured to accept something that we knew was unnecessary.  The very reason for circumcising on the 8th day was that hemorrhage would not be an issue but maybe the doctor trusted his vitamin K shot more.  :(
It seemed to me that a lot of skin was cut off.  I didn't have peace about the whole procedure.  


If circumcision was something that God wants Christians to do for their sons, why does God not make it explicitly clear in the New Testament?  Then again, we see the Old Testament food laws beneficial to our health, so cannot also circumcision be beneficial in the same way?


Maybe you can persuade me that circumcision is something more than just mere preference?  But even then, my husband's preference outweighs my ambivalence about this crucial decision.  
Chris is such an understanding husband and is willing to listen to my ideas.  I could've persuaded him not to go through with Noble's circumcision, but I deferred to him and I'm glad I did.  It seems to me that wives are more concerned with certain issues more than their husbands.  Or maybe it's just that women think about them and then some more, whereas their husbands are comfortable in the status quo.  Most people are probably happy to continue on a tradition, but if I did that and continued hospital birthing, for instance, I know that would not serve our family as well.  
 
 Sigh...I hope we have a girl hereafter. 

Out of the mouth of babes

The children are always saying things that I want to write down so I can remember them, but alas, so many times, I don't do it right away and those precious words get lost forever.

Noah and I had a little exchange this morning:

Mama: Noah, you are my helper today.

Noah: Everyday!

Mama: What would I do without you?

Noah: Ask Max or Lucas or Josiah


And just now:

Noah: Mama, I know what I can give to Lucas for his birthday!

Mama: What?

Noah: A real live kitten!
I'm just joking.

(Our cat had 4 kittens a couple of days ago.)

Baby is 16 weeks

The hives keep coming back. :(

If this continues, I may have to spend my days and nights with oatmeal, in the bathtub. The baths help a little, but doesn't take the hives away. Soaking in the tub is relaxing...until the baby wakes up. I am reminded why a water birth is so helpful.

My stomach muscles must have taken a permanent vacation. I feel quite fat and out of shape. I guess round is a shape, but I'm only 4 months along. I really shouldn't be looking so pregnant. Of course the thought of twins always pops into my mind, but 7 babies and it hasn't happened so it probably won't with this pregnancy either.

I have been praying for the birth. I may have full confidence in our birthing choice but without God, I don't know where I'd be. At the mercy of the hospital, I suppose.

I am praying for a smooth, uncomplicated labor and delivery. Most of my labors have started during the night but then continued on into the afternoon. I'm praying again to labor at night but to have the baby well before the sun rises. A short labor will be so different and so welcomed. I should have prayed that I wouldn't dread every contraction with my last labor. I never felt that I lost focus last time, but the dread of the coming contractions was very defeating. I am praying for not only strength for each contraction, but complete peace and restfulness in between the contractions. This time I really want to be able to cooperate more with my mental desire to ease the baby out and not just go with my body's intense compulsion to eject the baby out with one push. I don't want to keep testing the water's ability to keep me from tearing. I believe when I commit every single thought to God that He would be faithful and give me peace and strength to labor well.

This will be my first winter birth. I am especially thankful that Chris should be here to keep the pool warm and to support me during the birth.

Loveliness can be addicting!

It doesn't even take a green thumb to grow vegetables

All it takes is having a compost hole.  Some time ago, we discovered seedlings in our old compost hole.  We were curious as to what might be growing.  I guessed squash.  Turned out to be these cute little pumpkins.  I can't even try to take credit for it.  When I mention that we are growing pumpkins, Noah would say that they grew all by themselves.  He is right.  We had nothing to do with it.  God gifted us with these seedlings and I am grateful that sometimes vegetable gardening is not hard at all.

Baby is 15 weeks old

I find that I have to go to the bathroom more frequently, especially during the night.  My uterus is considerably larger.  I've gained 2 pounds.  Maybe more.  It depends on when I weigh myself.  I had a bout with hives last week that I hope is not pregnancy related.  Usually towards the end of my pregnancy I would get these really itchy little red bumps on my belly.  I attribute that to the stretching of my skin.  The hives came without explanation and was quite intolerable.  For now, I feel well and am still very happy every time I feel the baby move.

Loveliness

We went to the grocery store and bought a few items.  The 20 things in the picture cost me $1.40.  Did you notice that the yogurt was organic?  Healthy food CAN be had and it doesn't have to break the bank.  On the way out of the store, I was stopped by some beautiful roses.  It was the color that made them irresistible to me.  I debated whether I should spend $5 on these gorgeous 10 stems.  I am glad my frugal side lost out this time.  I sent Chris a picture of the roses and told him that he could have them.  And give them to me, if he'd like.  He did.  Now, I don't have to feel like I splurged.  The children wondered what the occasion was.  I told them that we needed this little bit of loveliness in our home today.  And just because.  And I got my husband to treat me with them in the end, so I think it turned out to be a very good shopping day.

P.S.  I hope I don't sound like I'm bragging about how little I spent on my groceries today.  I can waste money with the best of them.  I just wanted to demonstrate that God does provide and eating healthy can be done, even on a budget.

Potty training under way

I've put off potty training Noble for long enough.  With the other children, when they turned 18 months, we tackled potty training and everyone learned quickly.  Noble is 21 months and not getting any younger.

Noble certainly didn't want to sit on the potty after the initial curiosity.  I had to make him sit.  And sit.  And sit.  It's good that he drinks a lot.  We usually don't have to wait long after he sits before he'll pee.  Then we both clap.  After awhile, he caught on that clapping meant that he did well and could get up so he tried clapping too soon, before he peed.  And wanted to get up.  He was quite unhappy when I wouldn't let him up.  We've had accidents, here and there, but all downstairs because I've purposed to stay downstairs with him without his pull-ups on these past few days.  I'm so glad we changed out the carpet in the living room.  Even when he pooped on the floor, it wasn't a big deal.  Today, he actually sat on the potty by himself and pooped!  I was so thrilled.  He got a Kixt Kat chocolate.  I haven't been rewarding him because he seemed to be peeing regularly in the potty but I'm going to make sure he knows how wonderful it is that he's going number 2 in the potty.  This really hasn't been that hard.  His siblings felt sorry for him when I first had to make him sit and he'd wail but now he doesn't.  He's learning self control, I believe.  It's only been a few days and he's certainly not potty trained yet, but I'm encouraged that we are having fewer and fewer accidents.  I now take off his diaper first thing after he wakes up and I'll put him on the potty directly.  We are down to using only 1 diaper for the night and one pull-up during the day.  Wished I'd started earlier.  Potty training is really the parent being committed to not putting a diaper on the child and consistently using the potty.  I really don't mind that it seems that we're occupied with the potty all day long.  Better than changing diapers.  And so much better for his skin.  It's amazing how much joy a little child can give just by going in the potty.  It's so nice to see him happy with his own accomplishment and clapping with delight.  I am so happy that I can have the privilege of being the one to coax all these milestones.  That I don't have to find out about them happening to my child.  That I get to be one to experience the fullness of my child learning a new skill.  God has given me such a good life.

Can swimming be done modestly?

I think so.  The girls are wearing swim dresses made of swim suit material.  They have rash guards and swimming shorts underneath.
Everyone wears rash guards in our family because it's very helpful.  It keeps our torsos and arms from getting sunburned.  Why is it modest for men to be topless?  We believe boys and men should be clothed and not half dressed.  Same principle applies with the opposite sex, of course. 

What is it about the beach and other swimming places that make clothes so unnecessary?  Because of the activity and the location, one can be seen wearing underclothing?  Men, save your hairy chests (or lack of) for your wives.  Ladies, please don't tempt my boys with how little clothes you can get away with.

It's just too bad that swimming has become an x-rated activity.

How about some modesty quotes?

Modesty is the color of virtue.  Diogenes of Sinope


Modesty used to be considered a natural female attribute. No more.  Linda Chavez


As blushing will sometimes make a whore pass for a virtuous woman, so modesty may make a fool seem a man of sense.  Jonathan Swift





Modesty is the conscience of the body.   Honore de Balzac


 No education can be of true advantage to young women but that which trains them up in humble industry, in great plainness of living, in exact modesty of dress.   William Law

Nothing can atone for the lack of modesty; without which beauty is ungraceful and wit detestable.  Richard Steele

Baby is 14 weeks old

I think I feel the baby moving.  I say I think because they are so light but they are definitely there.  Coming from my uterus.  One of the best parts about being a woman.

Update:  After I got off the computer and went to bed, almost immediately I started to feel a very obvious "hic".  Then another and another...  Right where my uterus is.  It went on for a couple of minutes.  I was thrilled to update that "think" to "know".  I know my baby has hiccups and I can feel the baby's little movements.  I don't know of another sensation that I can compare it to.  Quite exhilarating!

I have been praying that I could feel the baby very soon.  14 weeks is fairly soon, I believe.  God is so faithful in answering prayers.  

Old look or new look

What do you think?

Baby is 13 weeks old

I really can't complain that this pregnancy is not progressing fast enough.

I would very much like to feel the baby move.  Maybe this week!

Still trying to walk to feel energized and be more fit.  It feels good to move.

The role of woman

Can it be that of man?

Here is good reading to provoke some thoughts.

Noble is growing up

My milk is gone.  I am in my 12th week of pregnancy so that's not too bad, I think.  Noble has done a tolerable job in accepting that his nursing days have come to an end.

I have tried to transition him as slowly as I could.  I was nursing him really only in the mornings and evenings and sometimes before his nap.  This morning I didn't nurse him when he woke up.  It was a bit hard on him but he didn't fuss for long.  We had breakfast and then he was fine.  He fussed longer before he'd take his nap without being nursed but he did fall asleep after a bit.  Tonight was the best it could've been.  He fussed for only a tiny bit and then just lay next to me.  I thought that he'd miraculously fallen to sleep in record time.  But he was still awake.  When he saw that I was looking at him, he grinned at me.  And then he drifted off to sleep.  So very very sweet.

If my milk hadn't stopped, I probably would still be nursing him.  God works all things in His perfect timing.  I don't think I'm going to miss nursing Noble that much.  He's much more independent than Noah was and can be away from me longer.  It's been a wonderful nursing relationship and I'm glad that the weaning process was as fast as it was and not too painful for either of us. 

Size of baby at 12 weeks

Who should pay for one's medical needs?

1.  The government.

2.  The church.

3.  Oneself.

I know most people know the answer to this one.  But what happens when that one hasn't saved for whatever reason and there is no money to meet a medical need? 

Of course that is when people, God's people, meet needs.  A church doesn't even need to officially step in. 

I think, in the long run, it behooves an individual and certainly a family to have a preventative mindset when it comes to needing money.  We choose to birth at home and treat illnesses at home not because we don't have insurance, but because we believe we are equipped to deal with these things on our own.  However, when they are out of the scope of what we can handle, like surgery, we don't want the church to pay for us while we are spending money on organic food and taking trips.  We all make choices in what we spend on.  I'd like to think that if we've made no provisions for that unexpected medical need that we would be willing to go into debt rather than burden a church family on account of our lack of foresight.

If we didn't have military insurance, I believe I would be highly interested in Samaritan Ministries because it is based on biblical principles.  People who want to be helped are contributing today so that there is money to pool from if and when they need that help.  They are already helping other people even before their own need arises, often times.

For some reason, I think when it comes to medical needs, even Christians believe it to be their right to have care.  And that one's choice and quality of care shouldn't be based on money.  But why ever not, if we are a free market society and different professions make more money depending on their value to people? 

I believe the Bible teaches that we are to take care of our health.  We are not to be like the heathen and eat whatever we want to and engage in whatever lifestyle we want to.  We are responsible for our health.  Not the government, not the church.  I think Christians should be one of the healthier people around.  Visibly healthier.  Desiring exercise and restraining from gluttony.  We shouldn't be full of the Spirit and totally indulgent in our flesh.  I am including myself because I see myself indulging when I know better.  When I don't even really want to.  But just because the temptation is there.  We should not separate the spirit from the body.  Both need to be in a healthy state.

Heath, often is, a result of knowledge and the will power to act upon it.  Not always, of course, as there are diseases that are genetically predetermined, but on the whole, healthy people are those who want to be healthy and who study to be healthy and then live in a healthy way.  On purpose.  It disturbs me greatly when I hear about those who say that it doesn't matter how one lives because there are people who live long lives with bad health practices.  Their lives may be long, but how healthy were they living it?  It's not just about the end, right?  The process should be important.  We shouldn't defile our bodies with impure foods and unclean substances.  That is one reason we reject vaccinations.  It is not a healthy thing to do with one's body.  To avoid a certain risk by taking on another is highly suspect, I believe, in the way God would have us do things.  We ought not to gamble with our lives.  But rather we are to seek God on health, both spiritually and physically.

I think while God can use us when we make poor choices regarding our finances or health, we give Him more glory when we are deliberate with everything we take in our bodies and how we spend our money.  To God be the glory.