We were heading for the auto salvage today and it was in the direction of a new park that we've started going to so we decided to load up a couple of bicycles and we all ended up getting some exercise. The boys rode their bikes on the trails and I took the girls and Noah and walked. Even though it was quite warm today, it wasn't that hot in the woods. The trees kept the sun out and we didn't get all hot and sweaty. The boys did, but that was because we found out that mountain trail riding takes mountain bicycles.
If there are overweight children and parents out there, could it be because they are not spending enough time eating together and having fun together? I don't understand why there's this philosophy that children should play with their friends while their parents stay indoors. I know my parents loved me and they took good care of me when I was growing up but what I remember doing the most together as a family was watching Chinese videos. We didn't do a whole lot of it but other than eating together, that is a memory I have of my family. School seemed to be the main focal point of my growing up years.
No wonder a homeschool movement needed to be started. And family integrated churches. Being together as a family and discipling one's children really shouldn't have to be taught, but our culture has so ingrained each one of us that we need to spend time taking care of ourselves that these movements really became necessary. My husband and I both agree that going to school didn't prepare us for life whatsoever. It made us into egotistical, selfish people. We put ourselves and our friends over our family on a daily basis. And we didn't even realize how anti-family schools were until we had our children and saw how important it was that they spent time together, living and learning and loving each other. We are reading an economics book that views the government as something that harms a society more than it does good. I see schools as in the same category. Although schools may make it easier for parents to pursue their own careers and hobbies, the institution is anti-biblical and anti-family. I know many parents do not even have the slightest idea what sending their children off to school does to their child. They do not know the statist and atheistic views a government school indoctrinates in their children. They trust that the state would have their child's best interests. I understand this and so I don't blame my parents for my public schooling years. I know they didn't know of another way. They didn't know parents could or should educate their children themselves. Just like I didn't know that I could birth a baby in the safety of my own home in the beginning. So this post definitely is not chiding parents who have put their children in schools. I believe families have to guard against culture invading their homes, especially a godless culture that deems children as burdens that need to be brought up by institutions. One definition for culture is religion externalized. We all know how godless our culture is and yet we don't seek to protect our children from the evil influences that emanates from every segment of our culture. How can this be? Our love of self and our love of pleasure propels us to seek self over spending time living life together with our precious little ones. I know I struggle against putting my family's interest over my own often. I get frustrated if things don't go the way I want it to go. I desire that the children always get along and do what they're supposed to do. I don't like to have to correct them all day long and show them what the Bible says about the way we should act and talk. But when I do decide that my priority is indeed to mother my children and to teach them of God's ways, I always reap the rewards of knowing that there's nothing better I could be doing.
We will not have overweight children. If they even start looking like they need to exercise more, I will know it's also my problem. I was not exercising enough. I do care about healthy living and I know my children will benefit if I don't keep it to myself but include them in all that I learn. How easy it is to tell our children to do as we say and not as we do. How utterly ineffective for our children to learn to do differently from us if they see us indulging in sins or not exercising godly living.
I wish children didn't have to become adults before parents realize that spending time with their children is something they actually desire to do. I hope our children will not grow up thinking that they wished their parents had invested more of their time in them. Well, I know I can do more than hope. I can obey the Bible where it tells me to teach my children all day long. Not just during our schooling hours, but to invest my life into theirs. I would be very surprised if my children decide not to homeschool or homebirth or eat healthily and naturally when they are on their own. I will know that teaching really has not taken place in our home and that our children took in other people's values over ours. But I'm praying that the time we've spent with our children will not be fruitless.
Another reason for this post is that it's (almost) never too late, too late to be convicted to be in God's will and to do something about it. I've seen examples of this with our friends. Our long time friends from Hawaii were convicted that surgically preventing future offspring was not God's way and corrected their mistake with a tubal reversal. And God blessed with 3 more precious children! And there is Delta. She is a grandmother of 4 grandchildren. Though she had but one child, these four grandchildren are not too much for her. She takes them canoeing and plays with them at the beach, in the waves, no less. She made a deliberate move to live in close proximity to her daughter and grandchildren. I don't know if her daughter realizes what a treasure her mother is, but I know the grandchildren do. The littlest one, who is only 3, told Delta that she wants to be just like grandma when she grows up. Now, that is the ultimate compliment a grandchild can give to a grandparent, I would think. Then there is a young lady I met at a church who told me that she went away to college but was convicted that her home was where she should be serving at until she had her own family and she moved back home and is joyfully contented as a young adult living and serving in her family.
I don't think it's ever too late to disciple one's children. I hear of mothers who say that they are discontented with their children's school, but will keep them in until the end of the school year. If something is not good, why not go towards something that is good, right away? I know of adult children who don't respect their parents and the parents allow that in their home because they believe their children are now grown and they can no longer exert any influence or control in their own home! I find that deplorable. The Bible doesn't give us an age where a fool is too old for the rod. We tell our children that they need to always treat our home as if they are welcomed guests. They need to be how they would act at any other's home. Even when they are grown, we will eat together and be considerate of one another. A family isn't just where people can act however they want to, but where they are always special to each other. I know I take my family for granted and do not treat even my husband with respectful consideration and I need to continually seek forgiveness. I do not want my children to grow up and not talk to their siblings for months at a time. I do not want the children to think that their family existed to serve them until they are self reliant. No, if we are training our children right, they would think their primary duty is to serve God and to serve their neighbors, with their family being their closest neighbors. One day, our children will grow up and think about the things our family did. And they will remember that we did them together as a family. So, is it important for a mother to stay with her children at home? How can it not be when children need to be nurtured by the ones who God entrusted with?
I talked about government schools but didn't touch upon Christian schools. Our first hand experience with a Christian school was that it took away from the family as much as the government schools. The churches we once attended that had schools drew the mothers away from their homes to serve as teachers in the schools. And the children became segregated from their siblings and spent the majority of their waking hours with other children, under the authority of other adults. We recently went to a friend's graduation. Her mother talked about what happened to their daughter when they put their 2 children in a Christian school after home educating them for many years. The siblings grew apart and the daughter become rebellious. The children came home after the year at the Christian school and it's made all the difference. We've witnessed the change towards godliness in our sweet young friend and we rejoice at God's goodness in directing her parents on where they should entrust their daughter's soul. It was not even in a "safe" Christian school.
Ignorance does not excuse. Not in God's eyes nor in the eyes of our government. We are not to act unrighteously, but that is hardly an easy task when we are often shaped by our culture. We do what our friends and neighbors do. Pretty soon we do even what strangers do. It takes constant study of Scripture for us to not conform to this world. What is acceptable to the world should not be acceptable to us if it goes against Scripture. A movie we all like is Time Changer. This is a good story for showing what happens to a society when Jesus is taken out of morality. Society degenerates. It is easy to imagine people from the turn of the century being shocked at the values people hold today. They would be shocked that women don't look or act like women. In fact, they are hardly distinguishable from men. They would be shocked that children are relegated to day care centers from the time they rise to when the sun goes down. They would be shocked that Sunday is a day like any other, where people frequent businesses and engage in the same activities as they would during the week. They would be shocked that children treat their parents with open disrespect. And the list goes on... People change with their culture and do not hold to their parents' views, it seems. Fiddler on the Roof is an interesting story that shows that while tradition is seemingly what keeps a family together, change is inevitable. (Each one of the daughters goes against the father's wish in marriage. The father complains but is powerless to convince his daughters that his traditions are what is most important.) This is certainly true for many cultures and many families. But it doesn't have to be with true Christianity. If fathers held to a multi-generational vision about sowing God's faithfulness in their families, their children would not remove the ancient landmarks. If the children have been brought up not just knowing religion, but serving a true living God that permeates in every aspect of their lives, then the children will not be double minded and go where the wind takes them. If parents invested in their children's lives and hold themselves responsible for what the children should learn and do and who they should spend time with, the children will grow up knowing that their family is worth their time and affection. Of course, there will always be the prodigal sons, the ones who must experience life the hard way before accepting God's will. By God's grace, the godly seeds sown in childhood may one day bring forth repentance and salvation.
Parenting is sanctifying work. I have realized that I must not give of myself here and there but give wholeheartedly and in every way, communicate to my child that time spent in nurturing and discipling is a joy and is something I would rather do than anything else. I am not very sanctified yet but my prayer is that God will continue to enable me to strive for excellence in my calling as a mother and not be content with my daily habit of being annoyed and dissatisfied with my children.
My children were talking about how I used to sing to each of them when they were little. I don't know why I stopped when they got older, but I am glad we all sing together now. I am glad, too, that those early memories are still there. A family is what God chose to begin humanity. We need to cherish our families by attending to our children
"when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. Deuteronomy 11:19
