and I got what I deserved...needing to acknowledge that I have so far to go.
To obey is better than sacrifice...so says the Bible. Too bad I always think I know better and I can just do it on the sly and get away with things. The thing of it is, I have altruistic motives. But again, I know the Bible says that our righteousness is as filthy rags.
I guess when it comes down to it, I really don't trust God to be true to His word. That what He says is really the best. God is showing me that it's not even on the big things that matter. Every act of disobedience counts. Even when I want to think that it shouldn't.
I was raised never to waste anything. It's in my blood. When I saw that several neighbors were throwing away perfectly good-looking things, I thought I would take a walk and investigate. Chris came with me and of course, I knew he didn't want me to do anything about other people's trash. Because we have enough trash of our own. I didn't argue with him. How's that for points? Well, I get minus points because I didn't stop thinking about the trashed good stuff. I was still thinking about them in bed. In the morning, the first thought on my mind is whether I can beat the trash guys. So, I left my sleeping babies and husband and drove around and hauled a bunch of stuff home. It didn't take long for me to realize that not wanting those usable things to go to the dump meant that I needed to find homes for them. I had to take time to sort through them and clean what needed to be cleaned and then post on freecycle for people to come get the stuff. It took all morning and then I played email tag with the people coming to get the stuff. It was a nice thing for freecycle people. It was nice that the trash guys had less to dump into their truck. It was nice for the landfill to have a little less stuff. But I knew it wasn't what I should've done. I should've listened to my husband. I should've cleaned and got rid of my own stuff. I should've not done what was right in my own eyes.
God gave me a husband for my good. For my protection. For a picture of the way the relationship should look like between a loving groom and His bride.
(To show how much I try to justify things...
I was actually thinking about writing on people's wasteful habits. I was thinking about other people's problems. Anything but wanting to face that I am the chief of sinners. )
